15: The Attraction Problem No One Wants to Admit

15: The Attraction Problem No One Wants to Admit

Author: Vanessa Ruiz January 21, 2026 Duration: 25:48
Why do so many people want passion, attraction, and a soft feminine partner… without doing the work to lead, grow, or evolve?In this episode of Unicorns Do Exist, Vanessa gets real (and a little spicy) about lazy energy in relationships—and why attraction dies when there’s no drive, no purpose, and no personal growth. We’re talking masculine and feminine energy, emotional leadership, physical vitality, and why simply having a job is not the same as being a high-value partner.Using insights from Esther Perel and Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, this episode breaks down what actually creates desire, polarity, and safety in modern relationships—whether you identify with masculine or feminine energy.This is not a man-bashing episode.
 This is a wake-up call.If you’ve ever felt turned off by lack of ambition, uninspired by emotional laziness, or frustrated trying to soften when there’s nothing to lean into—this conversation will hit home.✨ Expect topics like:
  • Masculine vs feminine energy in relationships
  • Why attraction requires movement, growth, and leadership
  • Emotional safety, polarity, and desire
  • Why driven people don’t stay “broke” (in any sense of the word)
  • How laziness kills intimacy—physically, mentally, and emotionally
🎧 Listen now, share this episode with someone who needs the mirror, and don’t forget to follow the podcast so you don’t miss what’s coming next.🦄 Unicorns do exist… but they don’t settle for stagnant energy.

Vanessa is a lot of things: a first-generation Latina, a single mom, a life coach, and someone who’s learned that healing isn't a quiet, polite process. In Unicorns Do Exist, she brings all those identities to the microphone, creating a space that feels like a candid conversation with a close friend who’s been through it. You’ll hear her break down stigmas around mental health and share stories of heartbreak not as endings, but as turning points. The real talk here is grounded in the belief that owning every part of your journey-the messy, the painful, the glorious-is where true transformation begins. This podcast is a blend of personal journal, cultural commentary, and coaching sessions, all woven together with what she calls 'cheesemé'-that perfect mix of heartfelt cheese and spicy truth. Episodes dive into the realities of building a life on your own terms, especially for those who’ve ever felt marginalized or told they were "too much." It’s about finding the high vibes without bypassing the hard work, and the glow-up that comes from radical self-acceptance. Tuning in, you’re not just getting advice; you’re getting a companion for the ride, a reminder that your unique magic isn't just a fantasy-it's your real, undeniable power waiting to be claimed.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 22

Unicorns Do Exist
Podcast Episodes
11: Everything Happens for a Reason (Even This Mess) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:19
In this episode, Vanessa shares the full story of her Mexico City trip — the good, the bad, and the not-so-funny-but-somehow-still-funny parts life likes to throw in when you least expect it. What starts as a trip rooted…
10: ✨ Starting Over Like It’s a Hobby ✨ [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:18
If you’re starting over right now — by choice or because life snatched the rug from under you — this episode is your sign. Not the soft, gentle kind… the “get up, Doll, your glow-up is calling” kind. ✨😈 We’re talking: 🔥…
9: When Choosing You Makes You the Villain (Good.) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:56
Step into your villain era, Doll — the era where you stop shrinking, stop apologizing, and stop carrying relationships, friendships, and dynamics that drain the life out of you. This episode of Unicorns Do Exist is for t…
8: Multicultural & Unapologetic: Why Your Identity Is Your Superpower [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:31
In today’s episode of Unicorns Do Exist, we’re welcoming our very first guest — and trust me, she’s a full-blown unicorn in human form. ✨ Meet Urmi: an Italian-Bengali powerhouse living in Montreal, a corporate finance p…
7: Dark Unicorn Energy: The Side of You They Never Expected [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:59
Doll… if you’ve been acting like a cute little glitter unicorn but deep down you know you’ve got claws? Yeah. This episode is for you. Today we’re getting into the Dark Feminine — the part of you that doesn’t chase, does…
6: Unicorns Don’t Ghost — They Reconnect 💜 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:31
Ever wonder how to fall back in love with the person sleeping next to you? 🫣 In this episode, I dive into “Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel — and what it really takes to keep the spark alive in long-term relationship…
5: You’re Not a Saint — You’re Just Scared [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:44
Let’s get one thing straight — staying in a relationship just to look like the “nice one” isn’t selfless, it’s self-sabotage. 💅 In this episode, Vanessa calls out the truth we all avoid: sometimes we hide behind kindness…
4: Let’s Get Intimate… With Money & Ourselves [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:08
What if your orientation did a plot twist mid-life? After 20 years of dating women, a long marriage, and the whole postpartum identity tornado — I start noticing men. Not every man. Not a straight-backflip romance. Just…
3: Inside a Unicorn’s Mind [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:22
Ever wondered what really happens inside the mind of someone who smiles through the chaos? Yeah… welcome inside mine. 🦄 In this episode, I get real about my lifelong battle with mental health — the anxiety that made me o…
2: Welcome to the Magic: Delusional? Maybe. But It’s Working. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 22:41
Welcome to the beautiful chaos that started it all. In this episode, I get real about where I’ve been — from a 5150 hold to healing, from losing a ten-year “PERFECT” relationship to finding myself again. I talk about the…