Why You Fight: The Hidden Wound Behind Every Argument in Your Relationship

Why You Fight: The Hidden Wound Behind Every Argument in Your Relationship

Author: Josh Trent September 22, 2026 Duration: 1:20:09

What if the fight you keep having with your partner is not about them at all, but about a wound that formed in your childhood?

Josh Trent welcomes Kim Polinder, relationship therapist and author of Why We Fight, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 834, to explore why every recurring argument is a psychodrama from your earliest wounds playing out in the present, why self-awareness alone is never enough to change behavior in conflict, and how a five-step apology framework can turn the most exhausting fight into the most honest conversation you have ever had with the person you love most.


In This Episode, Kim Polinder Uncovers:

  • (01:15) The Fight Beneath the Fight
  • (08:20) Why Gratitude Opens the Door to Repair
  • (12:10) The Anatomy of a Trigger
  • (16:05) The Work That Makes Repair Possible
  • (19:55) The Childhood Wound
  • (24:20) The Belief You Choose to Keep
  • (28:35) Own the Mindset
  • (34:15) The Price of Not Apologizing
  • (39:35) Projection and the Power of Going First
  • (43:00) What Suffering Teaches About the Soul
  • (48:35) When We Make a Promise We Cannot Keep
  • (55:20) Raw Honesty Requires Courage
  • (01:01:00) The Importance of Grace and Forgiveness
  • (01:06:50) How to Give Yourself a Little More Grace
  • (01:12:15) Self-Awareness Is Not Always Enough
  • (01:16:25) All Roads Lead Back to Your Inner Child

👉 ⁠⁠⁠Get the full SHOW NOTES + resources HERE!⁠⁠


Josh's Trusted Products | Up To 40% Off

Biohacking⁠

Wellness Test Kits

Focus + Be Present

Nutrition + Gut Health

Supplements

Sleep

Natural Energy

Fitness + Physical Health

Healthy Home

Mental Health + Stress Release

Personal Care⁠

Mindfulness + Meditation


Hosted by Josh Trent, the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast serves as a gathering place for anyone looking to navigate the complexities of contemporary life with a greater sense of balance and purpose. Rather than offering quick fixes, conversations are designed to explore foundational aspects of our existence-what Josh calls the "Pentagon of Wellness," which encompasses physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial health. The approach here is deliberate, taking a single topic and examining it from multiple angles to uncover practical, embodied wisdom. You’ll hear Josh engage with a variety of voices and ideas, consistently asking the thoughtful, often challenging questions that get to the heart of what authentic well-being really means. Tuning into this podcast feels like joining a thoughtful dialogue where insights from each episode are meant to be applied, creating tangible shifts in how you move through your days. It’s a resource for those who believe that thriving in our modern world requires an integrated, courageous look at all the facets of a human life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast
Podcast Episodes
Alchemist Reveals: Your Higher Self Can't Awaken in a Depleted Body [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:22:24
What if your spiritual disconnection has nothing to do with your mindset and everything to do with your biology?Josh Trent welcomes David Reid, Co-Founder of Manna Vitality, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 813,…
What A Woman Needs From A Man In A Relationship (Alex Charfen) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 2:08:28
What is masculine containment and how does it completely transform relationships?Josh Trent welcomes Alex Charfen, masculine containment expert, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, Episode 812, to explore the biological tr…
Genetic Expert: One DNA Report Can Save Your Life [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:26:52
Is disease optional in 2026? And can any illness be healed or prevented?Josh Trent welcomes Kash Khan, genetic health expert and founder of The DNA Company, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 811, to discuss why D…
Cold Plunging Is a Spiritual Process (Disguised as a Biohack) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:03:02
Why is cold plunging great for your growth and better mental health?Josh Trent welcomes Steven Haynes, Founder of Fjord Cold Plunges, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 810, to reveal why cold water is one of the…
Mindset Coach: How to Use Your Words to Change Reality (Mark England) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:28:21
What if the words you speak are the invisible prison keeping you from better relationships, freedom, and the life you were born to live?Josh Trent welcomes Mindset Coach and Language Expert Mark England on the Wellness a…
Light Expert: LEDs Block Your True Nature... This Is What Unlocks It [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:27:00
Are LED lights draining your mitochondria, disrupting your sleep, and disconnecting you from the deeper truth of who you are?Josh Trent welcomes Brian Richards to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 806, to reveal why…