Why You Fight: The Hidden Wound Behind Every Argument in Your Relationship

Why You Fight: The Hidden Wound Behind Every Argument in Your Relationship

Author: Josh Trent September 22, 2026 Duration: 1:20:09

What if the fight you keep having with your partner is not about them at all, but about a wound that formed in your childhood?

Josh Trent welcomes Kim Polinder, relationship therapist and author of Why We Fight, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 834, to explore why every recurring argument is a psychodrama from your earliest wounds playing out in the present, why self-awareness alone is never enough to change behavior in conflict, and how a five-step apology framework can turn the most exhausting fight into the most honest conversation you have ever had with the person you love most.


In This Episode, Kim Polinder Uncovers:

  • (01:15) The Fight Beneath the Fight
  • (08:20) Why Gratitude Opens the Door to Repair
  • (12:10) The Anatomy of a Trigger
  • (16:05) The Work That Makes Repair Possible
  • (19:55) The Childhood Wound
  • (24:20) The Belief You Choose to Keep
  • (28:35) Own the Mindset
  • (34:15) The Price of Not Apologizing
  • (39:35) Projection and the Power of Going First
  • (43:00) What Suffering Teaches About the Soul
  • (48:35) When We Make a Promise We Cannot Keep
  • (55:20) Raw Honesty Requires Courage
  • (01:01:00) The Importance of Grace and Forgiveness
  • (01:06:50) How to Give Yourself a Little More Grace
  • (01:12:15) Self-Awareness Is Not Always Enough
  • (01:16:25) All Roads Lead Back to Your Inner Child

👉 ⁠⁠⁠Get the full SHOW NOTES + resources HERE!⁠⁠


Josh's Trusted Products | Up To 40% Off

Biohacking⁠

Wellness Test Kits

Focus + Be Present

Nutrition + Gut Health

Supplements

Sleep

Natural Energy

Fitness + Physical Health

Healthy Home

Mental Health + Stress Release

Personal Care⁠

Mindfulness + Meditation


Hosted by Josh Trent, the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast serves as a gathering place for anyone looking to navigate the complexities of contemporary life with a greater sense of balance and purpose. Rather than offering quick fixes, conversations are designed to explore foundational aspects of our existence-what Josh calls the "Pentagon of Wellness," which encompasses physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial health. The approach here is deliberate, taking a single topic and examining it from multiple angles to uncover practical, embodied wisdom. You’ll hear Josh engage with a variety of voices and ideas, consistently asking the thoughtful, often challenging questions that get to the heart of what authentic well-being really means. Tuning into this podcast feels like joining a thoughtful dialogue where insights from each episode are meant to be applied, creating tangible shifts in how you move through your days. It’s a resource for those who believe that thriving in our modern world requires an integrated, courageous look at all the facets of a human life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast
Podcast Episodes
Politicians Finally Admit Food Pyramid Was Wrong (Took 40 Years) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:20
They flipped the food pyramid. And yes, it matters. But the deeper question is the one nobody wants to ask: Why do we keep self-sabotaging our health even when we know better?In this episode, Josh Trent breaks down what…
Inherited Trauma: The Hidden Reason Depression Runs In Your Family [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:05:54
Is mitochondrial decline the hidden blueprint that decides how fast your body ages?Josh Trent welcomes Dr. Brad Currier, PhD, Clinical Scientist, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 793, to unpack how mitochondrial…
Break The Cycle: These 4 Steps Will Delete Your Self-Sabotage Forever [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:30
Liberated Life Series | Episode 790Join Josh Trent, host of the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, as he shares why most people aren’t actually lazy, broken, or unmotivated, but they’re trapped in a loop their neural system beli…
Healing Frequencies: Nikola Tesla’s BANNED Cancer Technology [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:15:17
What if every symptom you’ve been chasing with pills and supplements is actually a frequency imbalance your body has been begging you to tune back into?Josh Trent welcomes Linda Bamber, Founder of WAVwatch, to the Wellne…
Amanda Hanson: The Multi-Trillion Dollar Beauty Trap (How To Escape) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:14:10
How many of the beliefs shaping your identity as a woman are truly yours, and how many were planted by a culture that profits from your self-doubt?Josh Trent welcomes Dr. Amanda Hanson, Psychologist, Author, and Transfor…