20.44: Now Go Write- How to Handle Relationships

20.44: Now Go Write- How to Handle Relationships

Author: Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler November 2, 2025 Duration: 27:32
We have an exciting announcement! Writing Excuses is publishing a book, Now Go Write, which will feature writing from all of our hosts! Sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! So, for our next few episodes, we’ll have each host share one of the topics that they have written a chapter about for the book. Today, we’re starting with Mary Robinette, who will be covering the question of how to handle relationships. We explore how relationships can act like characters themselves—shifting, growing, or breaking under story pressure. Mary Robinette also introduces the “Kowal Relationship Axes” as a way to build believable dynamics and conflict between characters. We hope you come away with practical tools to write relationships that feel real, messy, and full of momentum. Homework: First, sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! Then: who does your character love because of their flaws and why? Write an exploration scene where the character is exhibiting those flaws and the other character is watching that fondly. Then, write a different scene where one character is mad at the other and the flaws are pissing them off. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Call for Writing Breakthroughs Have you had a breakthrough in your writing because of Writing Excuses? If so, we want to hear about it. Fill out this Writing Breakthroughs Google Form for a chance to be featured in a WX Newsletter! Last Annual Cruise The final WXR cruise sets sail for Alaska in September 2026—don’t miss your chance to be part of it. Learn more and sign up here. Credits: Your hosts for this episode were Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, and Erin Roberts. It was produced by Emma Reynolds, recorded by Marshall Carr, Jr., and mastered by Alex Jackson. Join Our Writing Community! Writing Retreats Newsletter Patreon Instagram Threads Bluesky TikTok YouTube Facebook Our Sponsors: * Check out HomeServe and use my code homeserve.com/excuses for a great deal: https://www.homeserve.com * Check out Talkiatry and use my code Talkiatry.com/WX for a great deal: https://www.talkiatry.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/writing-excuses2130/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s a common piece of advice: if you want to be a writer, you should write. But what happens when you’re staring at the blank page, or when the business side of publishing feels like a maze? That’s where Writing Excuses comes in. Each week, hosts Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler gather not just to talk about writing, but to dissect it. They move quickly, respecting your time while packing episodes with actionable discussions on technique, from character voice to plot structure. But this podcast understands that a writing life isn’t just about craft-it’s also a career. So conversations naturally pivot to the practicalities of the business, navigating careers, and sustaining creativity in a demanding field. You’ll hear five distinct professional perspectives blending into a single, focused conversation designed to get you past excuses and back to your work. It’s like a regular, invigorating workshop session delivered directly to you, meant to equip you with tools for both your manuscript and your professional path.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 500

Writing Excuses
Podcast Episodes
14.11: Magic Without Rules [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 20:19
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Margaret, and Howard When we say "without rules" we're talking about stories whose magic is not held under logical scrutiny for the reader. There are lots of reasons why you might do…
14.10: Magic Systems [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:29
Your Hosts: Brandon, Dan, Howard, and Mahtab Let's design magic systems! We talk about how we do it, and how the principles of magic system design apply to the science fiction systems we create, and vice-versa. NOTE: In…
14.9: Showing Off [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:42
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Dan, and Howard Let's infodump without infodumping. Let's deliver lots of exposition without sounding expository. Let's talk with the maid and the butler without having maid-and-butle…
14.8: Worldbuilding Q&A #1 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:20
Your Hosts: Howard, Mary Robinette, Dan, and DongWon We invited attendees at WXR 2018 to ask us some general worldbuilding questions. Here's what they asked: * What cultural stuff do you need to know during the writing p…
14.7: How Weird is Too Weird? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:56
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Margaret, and Howard How weird, how far outside the realm of what the reader feels to be familiar, is too weird? Where is the line beyond which the fantasy is too fantastic, the unrea…
14.6: Fantasy and Science Fiction Races [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:38
Your Hosts: Brandon, Dan, Howard, and Mahtab Let's talk about race, sort-of. Let's talk about creating races—species of people, really—which is a critically important activity in much of our worldbuilding. In this episod…
14.5: Viewpoint as Worldbuilding [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:32
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Dan, and Howard When you're defining your world for the reader, some voice in the text must speak those definitions. This episode is about how we use character voices—their dialog and…
14.04: Writing the Other—Bisexual Characters [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:36
Your Hosts: Dan, Tempest, DongWon, and TJ This is the first of our Writing The Other episodes, in which we set out to help writers portray people who are unlike them. In this episode we're joined by T.J. Berry. She walks…
14.03: World of Hats [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:57
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Margaret, and Howard Margaret Dunlap joins us during season 14 to talk about worldbuilding. In this, her first episode with us, we talk about worlds in which a monolithic culture (lik…
14.02: Geography and Biomes [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:48
Your Hosts: Brandon, Dan, Howard, and Mahtab Mahtab Narsimhan joins us this year for a dozen episodes on worldbuilding, and this week we're talking about geography and biomes. These pieces of our settings can be central…