20.44: Now Go Write- How to Handle Relationships

20.44: Now Go Write- How to Handle Relationships

Author: Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler November 2, 2025 Duration: 27:32
We have an exciting announcement! Writing Excuses is publishing a book, Now Go Write, which will feature writing from all of our hosts! Sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! So, for our next few episodes, we’ll have each host share one of the topics that they have written a chapter about for the book. Today, we’re starting with Mary Robinette, who will be covering the question of how to handle relationships. We explore how relationships can act like characters themselves—shifting, growing, or breaking under story pressure. Mary Robinette also introduces the “Kowal Relationship Axes” as a way to build believable dynamics and conflict between characters. We hope you come away with practical tools to write relationships that feel real, messy, and full of momentum. Homework: First, sign up for our newsletter to learn when our book is coming out! Then: who does your character love because of their flaws and why? Write an exploration scene where the character is exhibiting those flaws and the other character is watching that fondly. Then, write a different scene where one character is mad at the other and the flaws are pissing them off. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Call for Writing Breakthroughs Have you had a breakthrough in your writing because of Writing Excuses? If so, we want to hear about it. Fill out this Writing Breakthroughs Google Form for a chance to be featured in a WX Newsletter! Last Annual Cruise The final WXR cruise sets sail for Alaska in September 2026—don’t miss your chance to be part of it. Learn more and sign up here. Credits: Your hosts for this episode were Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, and Erin Roberts. It was produced by Emma Reynolds, recorded by Marshall Carr, Jr., and mastered by Alex Jackson. Join Our Writing Community! Writing Retreats Newsletter Patreon Instagram Threads Bluesky TikTok YouTube Facebook Our Sponsors: * Check out HomeServe and use my code homeserve.com/excuses for a great deal: https://www.homeserve.com * Check out Talkiatry and use my code Talkiatry.com/WX for a great deal: https://www.talkiatry.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/writing-excuses2130/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s a common piece of advice: if you want to be a writer, you should write. But what happens when you’re staring at the blank page, or when the business side of publishing feels like a maze? That’s where Writing Excuses comes in. Each week, hosts Mary Robinette Kowal, DongWon Song, Erin Roberts, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler gather not just to talk about writing, but to dissect it. They move quickly, respecting your time while packing episodes with actionable discussions on technique, from character voice to plot structure. But this podcast understands that a writing life isn’t just about craft-it’s also a career. So conversations naturally pivot to the practicalities of the business, navigating careers, and sustaining creativity in a demanding field. You’ll hear five distinct professional perspectives blending into a single, focused conversation designed to get you past excuses and back to your work. It’s like a regular, invigorating workshop session delivered directly to you, meant to equip you with tools for both your manuscript and your professional path.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 500

Writing Excuses
Podcast Episodes
14.01: Worldbuilding Begins! Up Front, or On the Fly? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:12
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Dan, and Howard Season 14 is all about worldbuilding¹, and we're kicking it off with a discussion of when you do that bit of work. Do you handle worldbuilding before you write the sto…
13.52: Working Dad is a Spaceman [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 20:57
Your Hosts: Howard, Mary, and Dan, with NASA astronaut Thomas Marshburn. Last week's episode may have sounded like the last one for 2018, but that's an artifact of December having five Sundays rather than four. Fifth Sun…
13.51: Wrap-up on the Year of Character [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:28
Your Hosts: Brandon, Valynne, Dan, and Howard We decided to wrap up this year on character by letting Brandon ask us some deep questions. "We decided" might be the wrong phrase, because nobody except Brandon knew what th…
13.50: What Writers Get Wrong, with Zoraida Córdova [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 20:24
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Dan, and Howard, with special guest Zoraida Córdova Zoraida Córdova, an award-winning author of urban fantasy, was born in Ecuador and grew up in Queens. She joins us to talk about wh…
13.49: How to Finish [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 19:25
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Amal, and Maurice Last week we talked about character death. This week we talk about other, less fatal ways in which a character story can be finished, and how we, as writers, can tel…
13.48: Character Death and Plot Armor [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 20:17
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Dan, and Howard The characters we create are not all destined for long lives. Sure, some are, but a great many of them are on paths that will end in an abrupt fatality of one kind or…
13.47: Q&A on Fixing Characters [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:44
Your Hosts: Brandon, Valynne, Dan, and Howard You had questions about fixing character problems. We had had answers! Here are the questions: * How do you fix character voices when you find out that two of them are too si…
13.46: The Unsexy Side of Space, with Bart Smith and Ben Hewett [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:26
Your Hosts: Howard, Mary Robinette, and Dan, with special guests Bart Smith and Ben Hewett When we talk about space travel we're usually talking about rocket scientists and astronauts. In this episode we spoke with our g…
NaNoWriMo 2018 Bonus Episode, with Mercedes Lackey [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:44
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Dan, and Howard, with special guest Mercedes Lackey NaNoWriMo 2018 is half-way over today. Are you stuck? Do you need to get unstuck? Mercedes Lackey joined us at GenCon Indy back in…
13.45: Next Level Narration [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:41
Your Hosts: Brandon, Mary Robinette, Amal, and Maurice Narration is that stuff which tells your story, but isn't dialog. It's the voice of your narrator, and it might be multiple voices depending on how you're handling p…