208. The Dangers of Taking Offense, How to Stay in the Mentoring Game for the Long Haul, and Keeping the Main Things the Main Things

208. The Dangers of Taking Offense, How to Stay in the Mentoring Game for the Long Haul, and Keeping the Main Things the Main Things

Author: Zach Garza & You Can Mentor: Faith-Based Mentoring for Churches, Non-Profits, Youth Ministers, and Teachers November 2, 2023 Duration: 43:53

Offense, or taking things personally, is one of the most common tactics the Enemy uses to tear down relationships.  When somebody feels hurt in a relationship, their tendency is to pull away and isolate, which then leads to an even greater rift between the two parties.  This is true for all relationships, but mentoring relationships have the tendency to experience this on a much more frequent scale.  Oftentimes, the mentee is testing the relationship to see exactly how much the mentor will tolerate before they leave.  Because of this, it's so critical that a mentor can navigate the mentoring relationship without taking offense; because offending things WILL happen.  Zach and John are together on the podcast this week to talk through the dangers of taking offense, some practicals on how to avoid becoming offended in the mentoring relationship, how to stay in the mentoring game for the long haul, and what it looks like to focus the relationship on the main things.

Purchase John's Book:
Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

youcanmentor.com 


Hosted by Zach Garza, You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast is a conversation for anyone guiding young people within a faith context. This isn't about abstract theory; it's a practical resource built for the real challenges faced by youth ministers, church volunteers, teachers, and parents. Each episode focuses on the tangible aspects of building relationships that matter, offering grounded advice on how to listen, encourage, and walk alongside the next generation. The core of this podcast is a shared belief that effective mentoring flows from a foundation of loving God and loving others, aiming to make disciples right where you live. We delve into the questions you actually have, because your input directly shapes the discussions. Many episodes are crafted from real questions submitted by listeners, making the content immediately relevant to your own mentoring relationships. Whether you're navigating a difficult conversation, seeking creative ways to connect, or looking to sustain your own spiritual health while pouring into others, this space is designed to equip and encourage you. The goal is to see Christian mentors not just manage, but truly thrive in their vital roles. Tune in for honest stories, actionable strategies, and a sense of community, all aimed at helping you cultivate a more meaningful and impactful mentoring practice.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast
Podcast Episodes
233: IPC: Identity //Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:03
-IPC is a tool to help us understand our mentee (and ourselves)Identity is WHO WE AREPurpose is WHAT WE DO Community is HOW WE BLESS AND ARE BLESSED BY OTHERSKing David had a high sense and value for HIS OWN identity, pu…
232: IPC: Introduction // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:36
“IPC”-IPC is a tool to help us understand our mentee (and ourselves)-Identity, Purpose, and Community are three things we are presented with about King David in 2 Samuel 8. -Identity: 2 Samuel tells us David was a mighty…
231. What Does a Christian Look Like? // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:43
This Mentoring Minute deals with a really good question you can ask your mentee to start some high-quality conversation. Back in youth group, we would trace out somebody’s silhouette on a piece of butcher paper and have…
230. What is Mentoring? What is a Mentor? // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:19
All of us are here today because of our relationship with “that person”. You know, the one who made a profound impact on your life. For me, a few men made me who I am today. It was a man named Bob who invested into me wh…
229. Words Matter // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:44
We’ve all done it. We have said something like “Wow, Brian is the best. He is such a good kid.” You may think there’s not a thing wrong with that statement. But what about this one, “Geez. Brian is the worst. He is such…
228. The Rule of Three // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:58
Safety is the name of the game when it comes to mentoring. You always want to have safety on the mind when you are hanging out with your mentee. First priority is always to keep the child safe, but another aspect of safe…
227. Are You Sure? // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:43
In my line of work, I hear these three little words all the time. They come after I give something to someone usually or offer to help someone do something. My nonproof is based on Jesus’s words to his disciples: “Freely…
226. First "You", Then "Them" // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:47
I hate to fly. I hate everything about it. Getting up 72 hours before your flight so you can drive to a crowded airport with terrible parking. I hate the 19 lines you wait in to do all the things. Take your shoes off. Pu…
225. Find Your Tribe // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:39
If you’ve ever hiked up a mountain, it is no easy endeavor. There are easy parts and there are hard parts. Storms can pop up from time to time. Times of fun and times where you are challenged. But if you stick it out, th…
224. Giving Gifts // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:50
Giving GiftsGiving gifts or purchasing things for your mentee is one of the more complicated topics you will face as a mentor. You want to be able to show your care and affection for your mentee through giving gifts, but…