224. Giving Gifts // Mentoring Minute

224. Giving Gifts // Mentoring Minute

Author: Zach Garza & You Can Mentor: Faith-Based Mentoring for Churches, Non-Profits, Youth Ministers, and Teachers March 14, 2024 Duration: 6:50

Giving Gifts


Giving gifts or purchasing things for your mentee is one of the more complicated topics you will face as a mentor. You want to be able to show your care and affection for your mentee through giving gifts, but so often they can become distractions in your mentoring relationship. 


Let me be the first to say that this is a gray topic. It is not black and white. We are just giving you our perspective that we gained through years of mentoring. 


We never want our mentee or their family to:

  • See us as an ATM
  • To hang out with us to get something
  • Confuse our mentee when we don’t give them everything they want


This is especially difficult when the gifts you want to purchase are considered necessary items. 


We have had mentees who:

  • Needed new shoes
  • Needed a bed
  • Needed groceries


When needs like this pop up, we suggest you use your connections to a non-profit organization or a church to partner with your mentee to take care of those needs. We highly recommend building a relationship with other ancillary organizations such as food banks, clothing closets, and churches. 


If you want to provide basic items, we’re ok with that, as long as the mentee and their family know it’s coming from someone other than you. This is a benefit to mentoring with a specific organization - they can be the fall guy when someone asks you for a gift. You can blame it on them. 


But there is a difference between a want and a need. 


We recommend that you do not purchase your mentee anything with the exception of a birthday present. We recommend that you place a $25 cap on the birthday gift that you purchase. An occasional purchasing of food and treats is another thing. Perhaps you want to take your mentee to a game or movie. Those are ok as long as you follow the rule of three and you make sure it doesn’t turn into something the mentee expects. 


Your presence is enough. Obviously this is assuming basic needs are being provided, the best gift you can give your mentee is love and relationship. 

--
Please follow @youcanmentor on social media and give us a 5 star rating! If you are a part of a mentoring organization, we'd love to get to know you! Please reach out to us and we can spotlight your org on the pod or on our website. 

Contact us at zach@youcanmentor.com or at www.youcanmentor.com.


Hosted by Zach Garza, You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast is a conversation for anyone guiding young people within a faith context. This isn't about abstract theory; it's a practical resource built for the real challenges faced by youth ministers, church volunteers, teachers, and parents. Each episode focuses on the tangible aspects of building relationships that matter, offering grounded advice on how to listen, encourage, and walk alongside the next generation. The core of this podcast is a shared belief that effective mentoring flows from a foundation of loving God and loving others, aiming to make disciples right where you live. We delve into the questions you actually have, because your input directly shapes the discussions. Many episodes are crafted from real questions submitted by listeners, making the content immediately relevant to your own mentoring relationships. Whether you're navigating a difficult conversation, seeking creative ways to connect, or looking to sustain your own spiritual health while pouring into others, this space is designed to equip and encourage you. The goal is to see Christian mentors not just manage, but truly thrive in their vital roles. Tune in for honest stories, actionable strategies, and a sense of community, all aimed at helping you cultivate a more meaningful and impactful mentoring practice.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast
Podcast Episodes
233: IPC: Identity //Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:03
-IPC is a tool to help us understand our mentee (and ourselves)Identity is WHO WE AREPurpose is WHAT WE DO Community is HOW WE BLESS AND ARE BLESSED BY OTHERSKing David had a high sense and value for HIS OWN identity, pu…
232: IPC: Introduction // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:36
“IPC”-IPC is a tool to help us understand our mentee (and ourselves)-Identity, Purpose, and Community are three things we are presented with about King David in 2 Samuel 8. -Identity: 2 Samuel tells us David was a mighty…
231. What Does a Christian Look Like? // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:43
This Mentoring Minute deals with a really good question you can ask your mentee to start some high-quality conversation. Back in youth group, we would trace out somebody’s silhouette on a piece of butcher paper and have…
230. What is Mentoring? What is a Mentor? // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:19
All of us are here today because of our relationship with “that person”. You know, the one who made a profound impact on your life. For me, a few men made me who I am today. It was a man named Bob who invested into me wh…
229. Words Matter // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:44
We’ve all done it. We have said something like “Wow, Brian is the best. He is such a good kid.” You may think there’s not a thing wrong with that statement. But what about this one, “Geez. Brian is the worst. He is such…
228. The Rule of Three // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:58
Safety is the name of the game when it comes to mentoring. You always want to have safety on the mind when you are hanging out with your mentee. First priority is always to keep the child safe, but another aspect of safe…
227. Are You Sure? // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:43
In my line of work, I hear these three little words all the time. They come after I give something to someone usually or offer to help someone do something. My nonproof is based on Jesus’s words to his disciples: “Freely…
226. First "You", Then "Them" // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:47
I hate to fly. I hate everything about it. Getting up 72 hours before your flight so you can drive to a crowded airport with terrible parking. I hate the 19 lines you wait in to do all the things. Take your shoes off. Pu…
225. Find Your Tribe // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:39
If you’ve ever hiked up a mountain, it is no easy endeavor. There are easy parts and there are hard parts. Storms can pop up from time to time. Times of fun and times where you are challenged. But if you stick it out, th…
223. Mentoring is Baseball // Mentoring Minute [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:34
Mentoring is BaseballDid you know that the average of every baseball player in the hall of fame is a combined .303. That means if you hit the ball 303 out of 1,000 times, you are considered one of the greatest baseball p…