Why are we Really Building a Startup

Why are we Really Building a Startup

Author: Startups.com May 11, 2026 Duration: 33:43

What are you really trying to fix by building this company—and what happens when you finally admit it? The conversation unpacks how founders often default to a public “change the world” story while their private motive is something more personal like safety, control, validation, belonging, autonomy, or even revenge. When that real why stays hidden, decisions get miscalibrated and founders chase the hardest possible path (like massive VC rounds) even when a smaller outcome might satisfy the true need. They discuss how these motives “leak out,” especially after selling a company and realizing you’re no longer needed, and why success (even IPO-level) rarely erases old wounds. The key is naming the motive, right-sizing the plan to it (“minimum viable ego”), and building a deliberate version of success that fits what you’re actually optimizing for.

00:00 Founders Lie to Themselves
01:53 Public Why vs Private Motive
02:58 Freudian Roots of Drive
03:37 Will’s Safety and Control Story
07:11 When the Why Leaks Out
07:35 Selling and Not Being Needed
09:57 Validation as True North
12:01 Ryan’s North Star Revealed
13:45 Will’s Revenge and Proving
16:07 Steve Jobs Still Hurt
17:57 Haters And Criticism
18:44 Minimum Viable Ego
19:29 Different Success Thresholds
20:47 Stop Trying To Prove Them
21:22 Pick The Right Vehicle
22:05 The Villain You Invent
23:45 Success Doesnt Fix You
29:17 Money And Marriage Myths
30:25 Alignment Over Ego Death
31:03 Autonomy As The Real Goal
32:34 Own Your Motivation

Resources:
Startup Therapy Podcast
https://www.startups.com/community/startup-therapy
Website
https://www.startups.com/begin
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/company/startups-co/

Join our Network of Top Founders
Wil Schroter
https://www.linkedin.com/in/wilschroter/
Ryan Rutan
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-rutan/


Building a company is far more chaotic and personal than any business school case study lets on. Startup Therapy from Startups.com digs into that reality, moving past polished success stories to focus on the raw, unvarnished journey. Hosts Wil Schroter and Ryan Rutan, who have each navigated these trenches themselves, lead conversations that feel more like essential conversations between founders than a standard interview show. They tackle the specific pressures that come with trying to transform an idea into something meaningful-the financial strain, the team dynamics, the personal sacrifices, and the frequent moments of doubt that rarely make the keynote speech. This podcast operates on a simple premise: the best guidance comes from those who have been there, not from abstract theory. Each episode is a candid session, dissecting the professional hurdles and the intense emotional toll that founders manage daily. You’ll hear direct talk about fundraising fails, partnership conflicts, burnout, and the small victories that keep everything moving forward. It’s a resource for anyone in the thick of building something, offering practical perspectives and a sense of shared experience when the path gets especially tough. The dialogue is straightforward and focused on actionable insight, providing a genuine look at the resilience required to change the world, one startup at a time.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Startup Therapy
Podcast Episodes
Founder Isolation is Getting Worse [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:22
Ryan and Will talk about the growing isolation that founders are feeling despite having more ways to connect. They delve into how the shift to remote work, the impact of social media, and the rise of AI have contributed…
Forging Founder Confidence [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:22
Ryan and Will discuss the journey of becoming a confident founder. Celebrating their 300th episode, they reflect on how learning to lead and building confidence starts with curiosity. They emphasize asking questions, eve…
Is College a Waste of Time for Founders? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:25
In this episode of The Startup Therapy Podcast, Ryan and Will discuss the true value of a college education for aspiring entrepreneurs. They explore whether the traditional path through higher education is the best route…
Are We Preventing Our Startup From Evolving? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:10
The realities of evolving a startup. Ryan and Will discuss how the first idea is rarely the final solution, sharing insights on how to navigate the pivoting process. Using Uber and their own experiences at startups.com a…
Building a Startup That Loves You Back [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 31:12
Ryan and Will delve into the complexities of maintaining a healthy relationship with your startup. They discuss their personal experiences and challenges in balancing the demands of a startup with personal well-being. Wi…
When Our Friends Resent Our Success [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:01
Ryan and Will discuss the surprising reactions founders often face when they achieve success. They explore how unexpected resentment from friends and peers can arise, why it happens, and how to navigate these tricky soci…
When Our Startup Outgrows Us [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:59
In this episode of the Startup Therapy Podcast,Ryan and Will delve into the emotional journey of startup founders who feel out of place in the very companies they built from scratch. They discuss the guilt and struggle f…
When Being in the 1% Feels like Failure [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:27
Ryan and Will discuss the psychological challenges founders face by constantly looking ahead and rarely celebrating their achievements. They explore how important it is for founders to practice gratitude and recognize th…
We Need Outside Interests that Consume Us [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:24
Dive into the common struggle founders face with burnout and the inability to truly relax. Ryan and Will share their personal experiences and discuss how traditional relaxation methods often fail for them. Instead, they…
You probably should be TERRIFIED. At least a bit.. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 31:19
Ryan and Will discuss the prevalent fear in the market due to economic uncertainty in April 2025. They delve into how fear is a constant companion for founders and argue that it's not a weakness but a strength. Drawing o…