Why are we Really Building a Startup

Why are we Really Building a Startup

Author: Startups.com May 11, 2026 Duration: 33:43

What are you really trying to fix by building this company—and what happens when you finally admit it? The conversation unpacks how founders often default to a public “change the world” story while their private motive is something more personal like safety, control, validation, belonging, autonomy, or even revenge. When that real why stays hidden, decisions get miscalibrated and founders chase the hardest possible path (like massive VC rounds) even when a smaller outcome might satisfy the true need. They discuss how these motives “leak out,” especially after selling a company and realizing you’re no longer needed, and why success (even IPO-level) rarely erases old wounds. The key is naming the motive, right-sizing the plan to it (“minimum viable ego”), and building a deliberate version of success that fits what you’re actually optimizing for.

00:00 Founders Lie to Themselves
01:53 Public Why vs Private Motive
02:58 Freudian Roots of Drive
03:37 Will’s Safety and Control Story
07:11 When the Why Leaks Out
07:35 Selling and Not Being Needed
09:57 Validation as True North
12:01 Ryan’s North Star Revealed
13:45 Will’s Revenge and Proving
16:07 Steve Jobs Still Hurt
17:57 Haters And Criticism
18:44 Minimum Viable Ego
19:29 Different Success Thresholds
20:47 Stop Trying To Prove Them
21:22 Pick The Right Vehicle
22:05 The Villain You Invent
23:45 Success Doesnt Fix You
29:17 Money And Marriage Myths
30:25 Alignment Over Ego Death
31:03 Autonomy As The Real Goal
32:34 Own Your Motivation

Resources:
Startup Therapy Podcast
https://www.startups.com/community/startup-therapy
Website
https://www.startups.com/begin
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/company/startups-co/

Join our Network of Top Founders
Wil Schroter
https://www.linkedin.com/in/wilschroter/
Ryan Rutan
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-rutan/


Building a company is far more chaotic and personal than any business school case study lets on. Startup Therapy from Startups.com digs into that reality, moving past polished success stories to focus on the raw, unvarnished journey. Hosts Wil Schroter and Ryan Rutan, who have each navigated these trenches themselves, lead conversations that feel more like essential conversations between founders than a standard interview show. They tackle the specific pressures that come with trying to transform an idea into something meaningful-the financial strain, the team dynamics, the personal sacrifices, and the frequent moments of doubt that rarely make the keynote speech. This podcast operates on a simple premise: the best guidance comes from those who have been there, not from abstract theory. Each episode is a candid session, dissecting the professional hurdles and the intense emotional toll that founders manage daily. You’ll hear direct talk about fundraising fails, partnership conflicts, burnout, and the small victories that keep everything moving forward. It’s a resource for anyone in the thick of building something, offering practical perspectives and a sense of shared experience when the path gets especially tough. The dialogue is straightforward and focused on actionable insight, providing a genuine look at the resilience required to change the world, one startup at a time.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Startup Therapy
Podcast Episodes
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Ryan and Will delve into the complexities of maintaining a healthy relationship with your startup. They discuss their personal experiences and challenges in balancing the demands of a startup with personal well-being. Wi…
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Duration: 43:01
Ryan and Will discuss the surprising reactions founders often face when they achieve success. They explore how unexpected resentment from friends and peers can arise, why it happens, and how to navigate these tricky soci…
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Duration: 25:59
In this episode of the Startup Therapy Podcast,Ryan and Will delve into the emotional journey of startup founders who feel out of place in the very companies they built from scratch. They discuss the guilt and struggle f…
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