10 Dating Behaviors That Are Messing With Your Head (And What to Call Them) | Ep. 170

10 Dating Behaviors That Are Messing With Your Head (And What to Call Them) | Ep. 170

Author: Karen Bigman May 1, 2026 Duration: 8:32

In this episode, I'm handing you the dating dictionary I wish I'd had years ago. If you've ever felt confused, blindsided, or just plain crazy after a date or relationship fell apart — you weren't imagining it. The behavior has a name. And once you can name it, you stop second-guessing yourself and start making better decisions.

I walk through 10 modern dating terms — ghosting, zombieing, future faking, ghost lighting, micro-cheating, benching, banksying, breadcrumbing, love bombing, and situationships — what they look like, why they happen, and how to respond. I also share my 3-6-9 rule for checking in on compatibility at the right moments without over-investing too soon. The goal isn't to memorize a list. It's to trust yourself faster.

In This Episode:

00:00 - Introduction & Why Naming Behaviors Matters

00:48 - Ghosting: They Disappear With No Explanation

01:35 - Zombieing: Coming Back Like Nothing Happened

02:10 - Future Faking: Big Promises, Zero Follow-Through

02:52 - Ghost Lighting: Ghosting + Gaslighting in One Toxic Move

03:42 - Meet Lem From Nancy

04:12 - Micro-Cheating: Is It Really Cheating?

04:48 - Benching: You're On the Roster But Never In the Game

05:14 - Banksying: The Slow Fade That Goes Nowhere

05:40 - Breadcrumbing: Just Enough to Keep You Hooked

06:15 - Love Bombing: Intensity Followed by Disappearance

06:50 - Situationships: Emotionally Involved With No Clarity

07:25 - The 3-6-9 Rule for Checking Compatibility

08:05 - Final Thoughts & How to Trust Yourself Faster

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.


This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.


Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast



Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F

🍋 Save 25% off on the Lem using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: Hellonancy.com/discount/TABOO25

🚨 Save 25% on Le Wand using code Taboo25

🛒 Link: https://www.lewandmassager.com

💦 Shop my favorite lube from Pjur

🛒 Link: https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3Dpjur


In a culture that often whispers about aging and ignores the sexuality of older adults, Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 speaks in a clear, confident voice. Hosted by certified sex educator and coach Karen Bigman, this podcast transforms hushed conversations into open, honest dialogue. Karen’s straightforward and candid approach dismantles the stigma surrounding midlife intimacy, creating a vital space for education and support. Each episode explores the intricate, real-life experiences of dating, relationships, and physical connection after fifty. You’ll hear practical insights on navigating sex post-divorce, the triumphs of rediscovering desire, and the unique challenges that come with these transformative years. This isn’t abstract theory; it’s grounded conversation about the evolving landscape of pleasure, health, and partnership. By diving deep into topics often left unspoken, the show provides both reassurance and actionable guidance. Whether you’re seeking to understand your own journey or to simply listen and learn, this podcast meets you with expertise and empathy. Karen Bigman ensures every discussion moves from societal silence toward personal truth, making Taboo to Truth an essential listen for anyone redefining what life and intimacy mean in the second half.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50
Podcast Episodes
The One Conversation That Will Change Your Sex Life | Ep. 161 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:13
If you want a better sex life, you need to learn how to talk about sex. In this episode, I break down why most couples avoid these conversations and how that silence creates distance, resentment, and confusion. I walk yo…
8 Things I Wish Every Man Knew About Menopause | Ep. 159 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:44
🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenop…
Why Couples Get Bored In Bed And How To Fix It | Ep. 157 (Part 2) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:39
What do you do when the relationship is good, but the sex is boring?In part two of my conversation with clinical sexologist Dr. Stacey Friedman, we talk about what really happens to sexual relationships over time. We mov…
My Experience Taking Testosterone As A Woman | Ep. 158 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:16
In this episode, I share a personal story I have never told in detail before. It begins in my early 50s after separating from my husband of 25 years and rediscovering sex in a new relationship. My libido was strong, my e…
We Love Each Other But We Are Not Having Sex. Now What? (Part 1) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:20
Are you ever going to have sex again?It is the question so many couples in midlife are quietly asking. Sex has become obligatory. Or it has disappeared. Hormones have shifted. Resentment has built. Communication has brok…
Dating After 50? Ask These 10 Questions First | Ep. 155 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:20
Dating after divorce in your 50s can feel exciting, terrifying, and exhausting all at once. In this episode, I share 10 powerful questions you need to ask yourself before you get emotionally invested.These questions help…