Pregnancy Is So Butch: Queer Parenthood, Identity & Letting Go

Meghan and Erika never imagined parenthood would be part of their story. Growing up without examples of queer families—and navigating neurodivergence and fears about losing themselves in parenthood—they weren't even sure they wanted children.

Then listening to this podcast helped Meghan realize there might be another possibility.

Now they're raising their three-year-old son, Nova, with another baby on the way. They share a fertility journey that included IUIs, miscarriage, IVF, and an unexpected final vial from their dibling community.

Erika also opens up about navigating pregnancy as a butch woman—and discovering that carrying a baby didn't make her feel less connected to her identity. Quite the opposite.

As Erika puts it: “I think pregnancy is so butch.”

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• You don’t have to have always dreamed of parenthood to become a deeply intentional parent.
• Queer family building often means staying open when the path looks nothing like the one you planned.
• Parenthood can crack you open—and give you the chance to break old cycles.
• Pregnancy doesn’t have to be inherently feminine. Erika found it could actually deepen her connection to her butch identity.
• Fertility loss can bring grief, compassion, and a new understanding of just how complex these journeys can be.
• Representation matters. Sometimes seeing another queer family is what makes imagining your own possible.

🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Meghan and Erika are a queer couple and parents to three-year-old Nova, with their second child on the way. Erika, a proud butch woman, is currently pregnant with their second child and hopes that sharing her experience can offer representation for other butch people considering pregnancy.

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

Meghan and Erika on Instagram - Follow along on their journey

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🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 

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🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.

The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!