Why You Don’t Have to Fix Everyone (and Why That’s a Trauma Pattern)

Why You Don’t Have to Fix Everyone (and Why That’s a Trauma Pattern)

Author: Jessica Hottle | Christian Life Coach, Spiritual Growth Mentor, Christian Mental Health Coach, Christian Counseling June 25, 2025 Duration: 13:11
You want to help. It feels noble - maybe even necessary. You’re the one who jumps in, figures it out, and holds it all together. And when someone you love is struggling? You can feel the pull in your chest, like you’re supposed to do something. But here’s the hard truth: sometimes our fixing isn’t actually compassion, it’s control dressed up like care. We’re not just trying to help… we’re trying to keep the peace, avoid the fallout, and prove we’re worthy of being needed. But that’s a weight your soul was never meant to carry.

Rooting for you,
Jessica

Click here to get 30% off my Untangle Your Thoughts program today AND get access to my course Biblical Framework to Overcome Emotional Eating for FREE!

Resources:

What Is the Fawn Response? People-Pleasing as a Trauma Response
How to Set Boundaries as a Christian

Next steps:

Get my free 3-day study and learn how to deal with your emotions in a biblical way: https://www.jessicahottle.com/3-day-study/

Learn more about working with me 1:1 as your mental health coach: https://www.jessicahottle.com/mental-health-coaching

Or book your free 20-minute consultation here!

Email me at >> jessica@jessicahottle.com

The information shared in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or clinical advice. While we discuss mental health topics, this is not a substitute for professional care. Please consult with a qualified healthcare provider for advice specific to your situation.

Ever feel like your own mind is a knot of worries, doubts, and endless mental chatter? Untangle Your Thoughts is a space where faith meets the practical realities of mental and emotional well-being. Hosted by Jessica Hottle, a Christian life coach and mental health coach, these conversations move beyond surface-level platitudes to explore the tangible intersection of spiritual life and psychological health. You’ll find episodes that delve into navigating negative thought patterns, learning to truly trust in God during uncertainty, and discerning how to hear from God in the clutter of daily life. This podcast approaches emotional healing not as a separate endeavor from spiritual growth, but as a deeply connected journey. Jessica brings her background in Christian counseling and spiritual mentorship to offer grounded perspectives and actionable tips. It’s for anyone who longs for a more peaceful, grounded inner life rooted in a authentic relationship with God. Each episode aims to provide thoughtful reflection and practical tools, creating a resource for those seeking to integrate their faith with honest self-improvement and mental clarity. Tune in for a compassionate and insightful dialogue that honors both your spiritual path and your emotional reality.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Untangle Your Thoughts | Trust in God, Hear from God, Mental Health Tips, Negative Thoughts, Relationship with God, Christian Podcast, Emotional Healing, Spiritual Growth
Podcast Episodes
Why Can’t I Just Trust God? A Look at Attachment, Anxiety, and Faith [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:18
Ever catch yourself thinking, “Why can’t I just trust God already?” Like if you were more spiritual, more mature, or more faithful, this wouldn’t be so hard? If that’s you, you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. Here’…
3 Signs You Might Be in Survival Mode (And How to Get Out with God) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:35
Ever felt like you're doing all the right things—checking the boxes, showing up, pushing through—but deep down, you know you're running on empty? That’s not laziness, weakness, or failure. That’s survival mode. And God n…
Why Your Emotions Matter to God (and How to Handle Them Well) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:53
If you grew up being told to “stop crying,” “toughen up,” or “just be grateful,” you’re not alone. Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to mistrust our emotions or even feel ashamed for having them. But I want to…
How to Trust God When He Feels Far Away [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 19:14
Have you ever felt like God was distant—like no matter how much you prayed, you couldn’t hear Him? Maybe deep down, you’re carrying unspoken disappointment or even resentment toward Him. It’s not that you don’t believe H…
How to Break Free from the Need to Please (People) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:31
Do you ever feel like you’re losing yourself while trying to keep everyone else happy? You’re not alone. People-pleasing is exhausting—it tricks us into thinking that if we can keep everyone else content, we’ll finally f…
3 Key Factors in Learning How to Set Boundaries [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:53
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the weight of your responsibilities, struggling to say no even when you know you should? Many of us were never taught how to set boundaries, and as a result, we allow situations, people,…